there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
