well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
