I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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