This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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