apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
