Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
