I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
They should really pass out barf bags in church
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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