Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
