I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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