We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
