How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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