Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize