Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
whose ass print is on the piano?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The Olympian is in my bed
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
