You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
