Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
