got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
