I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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