I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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