Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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