so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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