Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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