It's Friday. Sex?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
