he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Also, beer. Big fan.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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