What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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