but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
