Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The air was thick with penises
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
