he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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