So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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