We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
