i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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