Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
