i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
