Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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