Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
