absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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