If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
