Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
