When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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