ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
