people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
