you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
