just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
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