so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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