How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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