I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
