i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
