I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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