the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
