dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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