Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
