THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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