Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
