Tell her she can't have a vagina
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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