I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
