One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
A bitchslap is in order.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
