How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
