Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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