Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
