Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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