He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
