Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
