come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
