i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
