Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
