Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
