I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Drunk is not a location!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
